Gor blimey! It's Romford's answer to Thee Orphans - yes, Corporal Machine and The Bombers come from the wrong side of Whalebone Lane and if Richard Feaver is in goal then they are probably playing in Oldchurch Park on a Sunday morning with stinking hangovers up against Pinewood Park Rangers from the bad lands of Harold Wood. And trying to make sure the game doesn't descend into a brawl too.
Just to make sure those hangovers don't get too out of hand, they are passing round a bottle of White Lightning on the opening track: a rollicking, slightly shambolic almost street punk paean to the glories (and otherwise) of cheap cider.
Oi Oi Oi is even more street punk as they sing about ponces in pubs trying to get drinks out of them but ending up sucking on crack pipes like Serious Drinking having a fight with Sham 69 for who knows, the most screwed up boot boys.
Somehow they manage to jump on the District Line and get themselves to Gloucester Road where they try to pull a bird only to...well find its more trouble than it's worth and they'd rather have another G & T if it's OK with you! That this band's boozy bonhomie is all over the record doesn't stop them from playing some fine music to sing along to in the Back of the Boozer which does seem to be the band's natural habitat.
Damn, they have a song called Newham County which is not as fearsome as parts of that borough were to me when I was growing up not that far from there. Yes I'm sure they drink plenty of Dry London Gin there too.
The song that should be the single is Cheer Up Britain. It has a good sing along chorus to try to make us all happy once more in this lovely land of ours. It would be perfect to get a festival crowd singing along to. Harry Bow, meanwhile, sounds like the sort of East End geezer you both want to know and want to avoid at the same time. Know what I mean, geezer.
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Still they stagger off to 51A Booze Street and have another knees up without too many glasses going flying this time, which seems like a bit of a result.
As for (please) Don't Scatter My Ashes In Romford, I'd have to ask why not, as I know a few people who would love to have their ashes spread over Romford Market or even outside the snooker hall where Barry Hearn's empire began in tribute to Steve Davis.
Five a day - well not fruit and veg that's for sure - more like five drinks a day for starters and see where the session leads us, it might lead us to believe we are singer/songwriters or it might make us hope to be able to play in the roller rink they used to have in Mawney Park (sorry I don't know if it's still there).
The album closes with a tribute to Ted Bovis and his sense of humour is obviously present in the song writing on this album, but it is in no way an end of the pier nudge nudge wink wink thing but a bit more knowing than that. They sound like they would be great fun to see live.
The Bombers online
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