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Review: 'THE PARKINSONS: A LONG ROAD TO NOWHERE'   

Director: 'Caroline Richards' Writen By: 'Caroline Richards, Victor Torpedo'
-  Starring: 'Afonso Pinto, Victor Torpedo, Pedro Chau, Chris Low, David Barnett,'

-  Genre: 'Documentary' -  Release Date: '14th December 2015'


Our Rating:
I was very happy indeed to go to the premiere of this great new documentary in Leicester Square this Monday. For me this is a far more interesting and cool film compared to the other film that also had a premiere in Leicester Square this week as the only menace in this film is how much Portuguese sausage is on show.

The film was introduced by Julien Temple as it was directed by Caroline Richards who has worked extensively with him over the years and of course this tells the story of the most popular punk band to ever come out of Coimbra in Portugal. The band's home town looks idyllic compared to the first bedsit they shared at the wrong end of Queens Crescent in Kentish Town while they're struggling to launch themselves in the UK.

The childhood photos they found of Pedro Chau got easily the biggest laughs of the film and are just incredible, but then so much of The Parkinsons tale is from the video of early gigs that almost all ended with most of the band performing naked and some of the audience following their example. The sheer insanity and carnage of their live performances is captured perfectly. It totally gets how jaw dropping it was to see them live when you had no idea who they were as was the case the first time I saw them at the ICA.

As the band's infamy grows, they get themselves booked onto some big support slots such as opening for Nickleback and the tour they did with Ikara Colt and Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster: the latter of I remember going to but only recall Ikara Colt and The Parkinsons' sets!

The film also answered the question of whose naked body I have pictured on the cover of Sonic Mook Experiment's Future Rock & Roll album. Yes that is Afonso and the story of the photo shoot is very funny too.

That a small band like The Parkinson could (with good management) get onto festival bills and win friends became very apparent to any of us who saw them at Glastonbury in 2002. I remember having to make sure we were up in time to see them and that only about 300 or so people were there at the start of the set and yet by the time they had finished it was several thousand. No-one could walk by and not stop to look at what they were doing and, yes, the film shows Victor naked playing his guitar to make sure they were the maddest band of the weekend!!

The band's reception in Japan when they went to play the Fuji rock festival took things to another level, as they played to 5000 fans about 2 hours after arriving off a 30 hour flight! And they then played the longest Japanese tour of any western band at a time when Pedro wanted to leave and the main drummer Chris Low did quit for the normal reasons of needing to earn enough money to pay rent etc.

Yes this is the normal rollercoaster ride of a band being split apart by the road and the fact that, although they played loads and loads of gigs, they put out very few records. The first album was actually meant to be a mini-album taster for an album proper that never arrived and Afonso's insecurities about not being a great singer also kicked in. For someone who is a great front man, this is understandable but for me the first Streets Of London EP and the A Long Way To Nowhere mini album just encapsulate the bands songs perfectly well, covered as they are in lo-fi noise.

It was cool to see the bands triumphant return to home turf and a hysterical TV interview where the band's only non-Portuguese speaker Chris Low gets made a fool of and yes I have no order to this review as I don't take notes in cinemas.

Still the band's descent is also covered as they struggle to keep hold of drummers and then the unthinkable happens and Afonso quits and they carry on without him. Well it could never be the same for most of us fans and they sort of die a death only to be resurrected soon after as Afonso agrees to go back for the odd show here and there so they can still be one of the most exciting bands you could ever go and see live. Hurrah!

It's a miracle that all the core band members survived and only one of the drummers is no longer with us, Nick Sanderson, whose legend is only enhanced by his performances in this film.

So if you'd never been a fan of the band is this film worth seeing? Well if you like great Rock & Roll documentaries then yes, for sure. If you want to find out what all the fuss was about then also yes. If you only like bands who are always in tune, polite and fully clothed then perhaps not. But that said Victor and Afonso have always been really nice polite and friendly whenever and wherever I have run into them, so don't let the nudity aspect put you off.

This film should be available to download and buy on DVD soon. I also went to the aftershow party/gig that will be reviewed separately.
  author: simonovitch

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