From the moment I saw this CD apear in the review pile I was filled with dread at the prospect of listening to this at least twice and I even considered reviewing it without playing it. I was that sure I could just bluff out a review and still be about right.
Well, in the end I did play it twice and wish I'd had a couple of roofies to wipe out the experience as this music really should be played on a loud club system to a room full of pilled up party poppers in the one room in the club that if I was out clubbing I'd be walking out of as soon as this stuff came on. Instead, tonight I have been chained to the seat by DJ Skrotuum in a corner of the dark room at Fit Ladz* and made to listen to a whole CD of tech house with zesty european percussive beats as the PR sheet puts it.
So being a mix CD there is no track seperation so it makes it just like being in a club only not as loud so the music doesn't shake me by itself. Instead the opener by Crookers and Lazy Ants is all scratchy with the odd grunt here and there and as I'm in the dark room those grunts are about right if you know what I mean. Then all of a sudden I can hear someone going "Do It Again Do It Again" over and over again and I can't see what they are doing in the dark here but I'm told it's Tim Cullen & The Persuaders doing it like a Zomba, yeah a zomba and not a Zombie like that freak doing the K in the corner.
No I really didn't want any of your extra Sauce on me and hey did I ask you to toss my salad? Well as soon as the K-hole creep started chanting that he wanted to "Toss my Salad" all sorts of strange stuff kicked off in the dark room. You don't want to know how Fit Ladz toss their salad, really you don't. Perhaps that's why Stefan Noferini had to make the Surfs invade to stop all that messy action and make the room go all squelchy for a while.
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Damn its that moment in any techno room I hate when a tune you love comes on and it's been housed to death. Oh yeah I see you Baby Shaking That Ass Oh I really do. My eyes have adjusted properly now and boy can you shake an ass but Sem Thomasson likes his ass all slick and boney without too much shake on it.
Shields knows it's the time of night when all the action in here is squelchy and nasty and a never ending piano refrain to keep the pumping and get them over near the glory once more. Damn before you know it they have finally reached that point where I actually like a tune and it's the last one in the pack, Starjackers' Something Happening that has the whole room going "Bo Bo Bo Bo Yeah Yeah" over and over again and again, well until I can get this muck off the cd player.
If you wanted a dance soundtrack to a party of this type of music and none of your friends have offered to come and throw down a mix it ain't bad.
*NB: DJ Skrotuum is Imaginary but Fit Ladz is a real club in Vauxhall that has a dark room, but I've never attended.
Hot Fridge Records online
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